Clip, clip, chop, chop.

Off went the hair. For the past 3yrs (that is, I cut my hair once a year) I have been growing and cutting my hair to donate it to the organization that makes wigs for people undergoing chemo. It is an amazing feeling knowing that what you could grow without any great effort, could be a great confidence booster for those people who already are going through something so very life altering. I have worked on the chemo floor of a hospital and have seen first hand the ravages of this treatment. Many live and many die, but even for that short time it brings so much happiness to these people when they are fitted for a wig.

I am happy to know that I could something for other people. Everytime I grow my hair, there are times when I feel ready to take the scissors to the hair, because I can’t stand the sweating and the caring for that hair. But I reassure me, that all that is for a reason and someone will thank me when they wear that wig. So it is now my promise to myself that I will grow my hair for that someone.

Little hearts are filled with love!

It is true…there is no denying it. Especially if you are a parent you will nod your head. I am talking about the little angels in the disguise of the wicked devils, that reside in our homes. More and more these days, I am being put to shame by the actions of the little dude at home.

I have watched and noticed that he is too quick to cry and quicker to smile, forgive, forget and move on. And he doesn’t even know the word forgive or the meaning behind it. Yet, we who know what it means, find it so darn hard to do it. I have been (am ashamed to say this) losing my temper a little too much with him and a few times, I have had to spank him, forgetting that he is only 3yrs old (almost) and that he is supposed to be naughty and do all that he does. He is not supposed to behave responsibly…all this I know and yet due to my own short comings, turn to him with the most vicious look and give him a sound scolding. Some times, in the midst of it, I notice the little lips quivering like leaves shaking on a branch and those fat tears ready to break the barriers and roll down the cheeks. I curse myself and run to pick him up and apologize to him…he in all his 3yrs(almost) of sweetness hugs me with a vengeance and in the same breath, says that he loves me. I am ashamed beyond words. Terribly. How can he, so small be filled with SO much love, and I can’t, with all my knowledge and understanding do the same for him?

Many a times, when I am stressed, I hug the little one or lay my head on his little chest and listen to his heartbeat…it immediately takes away all that I am feeling and fills me up with this amazing calm and serenity. I think it happens it is an osmosis kind of effect…undiluted love pours selflessly from the most saturated being to me…I pray so hard at those times that I haven’t passed on my littleness to him in the reverse osmosis way. At that time, I fill myself with all things happy and let it flow to him…I know it so, because in a minute, he is laughing his head off, and I want to think that is due to the happiness we shared then and not because of a strand of my hair tickling his face.

What happens to us in the few years that we are growing up that we have lost all our innocence, tolerance, love for all things and people, the ability to laugh at small things though it may be silly, the capacity to not feel any shame and declare our love for our beloved ones? Have you noticed that a simple “I Love You” from a child can make you swell up like a puffer fish? I wonder if all of us are born with our hearts filled to the brim with love, like a bottle of water is filled and as we grow and learn, we displace the water with other worldly qualities of hatred, cruelty, intolerance and such and when we are thirsty we realize that the bottle is not filled with water anymore. I wish, I have the little guy’s heart filled with nothing but pure love  and I pray that I don’t pollute it with my misgivings.

I love you little dude for all that you show me and enlighten me with and that selfless love that oozes out of your very being. May your heart swell like a ocean and be filled with that limitless love forever for all around you. And in that process, teach me in your own way, how I can do the same.